Tips for Surviving Comic-Con 2014

Comic-Con is a lot of things to a lot of people. For some, it's that place where all the severe people from internet comment threads go to "trade action figures, or whatever." For others, it's "the Coachella of graphic novel enthusiasts." But for most, Comic-Con is hands down the be-all, end-all annual entertainment convention (sorry, Pacey-Con). 

Every year, thousands flock to San Diego for this four-day convention that marries comic books, movies, entertainment, and geekdom of all stripes. It's a big event, and it can be overwhelming if you don't know the lay of the land. We're here to give some tips to those brave souls who are venturing into the wizarding world of San Diego Comic-Con International.

Here are some do's and don't's to keep in mind as Comic-Con heads into its second day.

DO: Wear a Mask

And not just because you don't want to be seen there. The sad truth is- we don't get to wear masks enough in our society. Our bland, vanilla, corporate monoculture has deprived us of our ritualistic roots! Well sure, you can wear a mask anytime you want. But 90% of the time, it's extremely inappropriate. Have you ever walked down a dark street late at night, only to see some guy in a mask lumbering toward you? It's terrifying. But at Comic-Con, you're not going to scare anyone. So wear a mask. Any mask. You'll be glad you did.

DON'T: Be a George R.R. Martin Groupie

He'll respect you more if you play hard to get.

DO: Pet the Furries

These days, it seems like all the best hyper-sexualized anthropomorphic characters are heading to Furrie Con or WonderCon. But if you're lucky, you may spot a furry at Comic-Con this weekend. This is considered extremely good luck. They are like the four-leaf clovers of cosplay enthusiasts, and you're strongly encouraged to pet them at will. If it seems like they're not enjoying it, don't worry. It's all part of the game.

"Gotta pet them all!"

DON'T: Hang out with the Star Trek kids

You're getting in over your head with these people. They are way more hardcore than you realize.  Unless you can freestyle in Klingon, lay low. They may work in the shadows, but they own these streets.

DO: Take selfies with any celebrities you can get your hands on.

DON'T: Get your hands on any celebrities.

You might go to jail.

DO: Remember the Source Material

At some point in the last decade, Hollywood thought it would be fun to hijack Comic-Con as a way to announce their new movies and get fanboys excited. That's all good and fine, but let's try to remember how Comic-Con started. Way back in 1970, it was about, well, comic books!

Since there's so much extraneous stuff to get distracted by at Comic-Con today, we're offering you this token--think of it as a gift that costs money--so you can always remember that this madness actually started as a pop-art appreciation society.

"Lil Picasso" Case: iPhone 5/5S   --   iPhone 5C

Speaking of the importance of source-material...

DON'T: Ever mention the live-action Spongebob Movie again.

This slow-motion train wreck was previewed for Comic-Con attendees yesterday. We really don't want to talk about it. 

So that's it. That's all the advice we have for you. Beyond that, you're pretty much on your own. Well, there is one other thing. It's kind of a mantra for us here at Zero Gravity, and it's great advice, whether you're attending Comic-Con or not:

Be yourself.

Now go have fun, you big nerd!